Role Reversal: One More Time
by Kei-chan and Rin-chan
Summary: The final Role Reversal is finally here. Join K and Sakano as they switch roles.
1. Chapter 1

Rin-chan: Konban wa, minna-san! Here we are, with the final "episode" of Role Reversal!

Kei-chan: Sou desu! We hope you like the final Role Reversal, and that you have as much fun reading it, as we have writing it!

Disclaimer: We do not own Gravitation, Viva La Bam or anything else you recognise. We only own Role Reversal, and the concept for these stories!

----

**Role Reversal: One More Time**

_Recap:_

_The next day, they returned to the usual restaurant. Tohma cleared his throat. "Okay, since this challenge is the most difficult of them all, we've decided that you can have two days to prepare. You've worked with each other long enough to know how to act, so you should know the ways you'll need to prepare, okay?"_

_Sakano gulped, holding his chopsticks in a white knuckled grip. He squeezed them so tightly that they tapped against each other, tapping out a fast rhythm. K simply grunted, sulking as he stroked his Magnum, knowing he wouldn't be able to shoot his baby for a while._

_Shuichi glared at K. "I know K's punishment for if he steps out of character. NO GUNS FOR A MONTH! Maybe then he'll stop fucking shooting me." He poked the bandage on his shoulder with irritation, Yuki sending K a look of pure death behind his back._

_Tohma spoke up, glancing at Sakano apologetically. "Sakano's punishment will be taking a month off of work." Sakano shrieked in fear, shivering madly._

_Suguru put his head in his hands. "I'm surrounded by morons." He muttered. Hiro smacked him around the back of the head, rolling his eyes._

----

**Chapter One: How to Turn Sakano Psycho in Two Days - Part One**

Sakano trembled fearfully as everyone left the restaurant. As he stepped out onto the pavement outside, he had a fleeting urge to just throw himself in front of the nearest vehicle. Even a bicycle would do! Before he could do more than consider ending it all, another one of Tohma's limos pulled up in front of him.

He wibbled his way into the back seat, curling up into a ball. His eyes shot around the limo suspiciously as the driver pulled away from the restaurant. He whimpered as they left the city and headed into the middle of nowhere.

He lost track of how long the journey lasted, too terrified to take any notice of something as trivial as time. Eventually, he saw a huge mansion ahead, and gulped. The limo pulled up outside, and Sakano peeled himself off of the seat. The limo driver pulled away as soon as he was out of the car.

Suddenly, the front door crashed open, and out of the house exploded a tall brown haired man, with odd looking facial hair. He was dressed in baggy jeans, Vans, a shirt with "HIM" written on it, and a beanie hat. Sakano shrieked and started to run away, a waterfall of tears streaming down his face. The man let out a loud 'whoop' and followed, sprinting full-force. In no time at all, the man had taken a flying leap, and tackled Sakano to the floor.

As they landed on the ground with a thud, and two more men ran out. One had short brown hair, and the other had messy sandy blonde hair. They were both dressed much the same as the first, but with less black. The two ran over to Sakano and the other man, and together they managed to haul the nervous wreck to his feet.

The three strange men dragged him into the mansion, and immediately tied him to a conveniently placed chair. It even had a coil of rope on a table next to it! They stepped back, grinning evilly at him. He suddenly noticed that the men weren't Japanese, and blinked.

The man with the beanie hat waved at him cheekily. "Hey dude! So, this Tohma-dude said that we have to whip your cowardly ass into shape in only two days. Basically, he wants us to turn you into a psychopathic killing machine. No problem! So, shut up, do what we tell you, and everything will be cool." Sakano suddenly wished he couldn't speak English… maybe then this wouldn't be happening.

"Now that shit's out of the way, it's time we introduced ourselves. I'm Bam Margera."

The other brown haired man waved. "Chris Raab. Just call me Raab, 'kay dude?"

The sandy haired man scratched his head. "Ryan Dunn."

They paused, and seemed to be waiting for him to speak, but he only trembled in silent terror for a moment, before bursting into tears. Bam rolled his eyes, before landing a slap to the producer's cheek, shocking him out of crying.

Bam pointed a finger in Sakano's face. "None of that, asswipe! Now introduce yourself… calmly."

He gulped nervously. "I'm Sakano Hiyowa…"

Bam grinned. "Yeah, we know. We just wanted to make you say it! Anyway, we've set up a little… test for you. So, come with us and we'll get you some new clothes, some contacts, and then we'll get started!"

----

Some time later, Sakano stood in front of a mirror, repeatedly poking himself in the eye as he tried to put in some contact lenses. Eventually, he managed to get both lenses in, and stared into the mirror, shocked. Bam had taken his glasses away from him as soon as they had dragged him into one of the bedrooms upstairs, so he didn't see what clothes they put on him, as he was blind as the proverbial bat without his glasses.

They had dressed him in an army print jacket, shirt, and cargo pants. They had also padded him out with knee pads, elbow pads, a chest protector, and a helmet. He spasmed with fear as they dragged him down the stairs, and out of the mansion's back door. Outside, in the acres of land he saw, there was what can only be described as "The obstacle course from hell".

The obstacle course was pretty much the same as any other. Walls to climb, ropes to swing with, etc… what he didn't like the look of, was the many objects that sat to the side of the obstacle course. Footballs, plates, cream filled pies, chairs, fire extinguishers, cans of silly string, skateboards, buckets of salmon (whole, complete with heads), frozen chickens, household brooms, and much more that he couldn't even see properly.

Bam held up a stopwatch. "Okay, basically you have to run this obstacle course within four minutes. If you fail, you run it again, and keep running it until you do it in four minutes or less. Got it? No? Tough luck! Move it, ass-banger!"

Sakano wasn't about to argue. He'd been Tohma's lapdog long enough to know when to shut up, when to run away, and when to cower in fear. He tearfully began running towards the obstacle course. As he began the course, a chair came flying over his head. He shrieked, ducking. He straightened a moment later, only to be hit square in the head by a plate.

Bam scowled. "Move it, damn you! You're wasting time!"

Sakano began running again, feeling a pie hit him in the backside. He began screaming at the top of his lungs, crashing into the floor and beginning to crawl underneath the netting that was set up. He continued running the course, with Bam, Raab, and Ryan hurling things at him, spraying him with silly string and then nailing him in the head with the empty cans, and throwing entire frozen chickens and fish at him.

He finished running the course, and collapsed onto the ground, crying for his mother. Ryan and Raab hauled him to his feet, pulling him back to the starting line. Bam shook his head. "Pathetic! Don Vito could do better than that, and he's an old, fat bastard! Do it again. Run fucker!"

Still crying for his mother, he began running the course again, his tears coming even more quickly as a flying skateboard hit him in his… private regions.

----

After running the course another four times, Sakano was starting to get sick of it. And as a plate came soaring at him like a frisbee, he snatched it out of the air, and threw it straight back at Bam. It hit the loud-mouthed boarder in the face, and he fell backwards onto the ground, landing on his backside. Sakano jumped up and down gleefully. "TAKE THAT, YOU CRETIN!"

As if suddenly realising what he'd done, he curled into a ball on the floor, waiting for them to kill him. However, he suddenly heard laughter. Bam chose to ignore the fact that Ryan and Raab were laughing at him, for now, and instead grinned at Sakano.

"Nice shot, dude! Now that's what I like to see. But now, get up and run, you slacker!"

----

Sakano was just about to finish running the course for the eighth time, when the boys started spraying him with fire extinguisher foam. He didn't take much notice of this, as they'd done worse over the short space of time he'd been at the mansion, but it was the last straw when an empty fire extinguisher came soaring through the air, only to smack him straight on the head. His left eye twitched violently as he crossed the finishing line.

"Good job, loser! You did it in under four minutes!" Bam cheerfully informed him.

Sakano slowly walked over to them, calmly picking up a broom that they had neglected to throw at him. He stopped a few feet away from them, and brought the broom down onto his upraised knee, snapping it in two with a loud crack. He raised both hands, and let out a war cry, sprinting towards them as he waved the two broom pieces in the air.

Bam blinked. "Oh crap…"

The three started running for their lives as they saw the homicidal glint in the normally timid man's eyes.

"I'm going to get you for this, you sadists!" Sakano shrieked, suddenly throwing one of the pieces of the broom. It hit Ryan in the back of his knee, bringing him to the ground. Bam was busy looking over his shoulder to make sure Sakano wasn't gaining on them, and tripped over Ryan's foot. He landed on his hands and knees, his backside presented towards Sakano. The producer, still with a demonic glint in his eyes, kept running towards them. As soon as he got close enough, he held out the remaining piece of the broom, and rammed it soundly up Bam's ass.

Bam's eyes widened until they threatened to fall out of his head, and he let out an extremely high-pitched scream that echoed through the grounds, and the surrounding woods.

Sakano dusted off his hands, and walked calmly back to the mansion.

Bam cleared his throat, and spoke in an extremely high pitched, and somewhat girly, voice. "Nice going. Target practice in one hour… now, Dunn… get this thing out of my ass!"

----

_One hour later_

The group was stood in the "basement" of the mansion. Sakano had learnt that the mansion belonged to Tohma, a 'summer home', of sorts. So he wasn't surprised when the basement turned out to be something resembling an army weapons storage room. It had more guns that you could shake Bam's broom handle at, and also a huge amount of cardboard cut-out targets, all the exact likeness of certain people that the blonde knew.

Sakano was stood next to a table, staring fearfully at the guns laid out. Raab clapped him on the shoulder reassuringly, and he whimpered, picking up the smallest gun. Bam rolled his eyes, snatching the gun out of his hands. He handed him a magnum instead, and Sakano kept his finger well away from the trigger.

Ryan pushed him over to the target practice area, explaining that the guns were already loaded. The three stood back, putting on some ear protectors. Sakano, oblivious to the fact that he was about to be deafened, fearfully pointed the gun at the first target, which was a cut-out of K. As he pulled the trigger, he was deafened by the bang, and the recoil was so great that he flew backwards a good few feet, landing painfully on his back.

He lay there for a few long moments, staring dazedly at the ceiling, hearing a great ringing in his ears. He was vaguely aware of the guys staring down at him, Bam gingerly poking him with a foot. He saw their lips move, but couldn't hear anything past the ringing. His wrists were throbbing, too.

He was, once again, hauled off of the ground. They snapped him out of it by throwing a glass of water over his head. As his hearing slowly returned, they pointed to the wall behind the target he was shooting at. He looked over, and saw that his shot had missed. And he hadn't just missed by a few inches, he'd missed by a good few feet!

He twitched. All that, for a mile-wide miss?

Bam sighed in a disappointed manner. "Come on, you under-achieving, whining, witless, spineless little worm! At least hit the damn target!"

Raab shook his head. "Man, my grandmother could shoot better than you! Get it together."

Ryan scratched his head. "That wasn't a bad shot… if you're blind."

Sakano practically had steam coming out of his ears, looking about ready to blow fire out of his nostrils. With a sharp twitch, he turned to another target, taking aim. He emptied an entire clip into the cut-out of Aizawa Taki, the bullets hitting the target exactly where his… beach balls would be.

As one, Bam, Ryan, and Raab all winced, cupping themselves protectively. Sakano erupted into evil cackles, dancing like a demented upright crab… don't ask.

The boys stared at him mutely for a moment, before Ryan reached over to smack him around the head. Sakano stopped abruptly, actually glaring at Ryan.

Bam coughed, smirking as Ryan glared right back. "Okay, the last thing on the agenda for today is… scaling buildings! And then abseiling down them, of course."

Sakano sighed, too tired to be very afraid. "Fine, lets get it over with."

----

The group stood outside of the mansion, a rope hanging down the side of the building. Sakano looked up, and noticed it was tied to a chimney on the roof. He gave the rope a funny look, before sighing. He grabbed the rope, and began to climb.

His feet slipped against the wall of the mansion, and he let go of the rope, landing squarely on his backside. He winced, feeling some gravel from the path stick into his butt cheeks. Bam shook his head, sighing. "Again, loser."

After hauling himself to his feet, Sakano once again took hold of the rope. He attempted to climb, using more force, and planting his feet against the wall. A moment later, he once again hit the floor. He whimpered as his ass began to sting.

'_This is going to be a long day…_'

----

_Some time later_

Sweat poured down Sakano's back as he hauled himself higher, his fists clenched around the rope. He was so close to the top! Just a little further, and… Suddenly, his grip loosened. Still holding the rope, he slid down it like a fireman would slide down a pole. As he slid at a surprising speed, the friction between his hands and the rope became too much. His hands were so hot! Smoke began rising, and suddenly, fire erupted from his hands. And so, by the time he hit the ground, his hands were ablaze.

He shrieked like a woman, sprinting in a circle, and waving his hands around in the air. He suddenly ran to Bam, and began slapping his hands on the boarder's clothes, trying to put out the fire. Bam tried to punch him away, but it was too late. One of Sakano's hands had slapped him in the face, and caught his beard on fire.

Ryan and Raab pointed at them, laughing so hard they could barely stand. As Bam ran over to the swimming pool to gather water in his hands, putting the fire in his beard out, Sakano simply dived in. Sakano resurfaced a moment later, his hair plastered to his face, and spitting out water with a scowl. Raab and Ryan both offered their hands to him. He grabbed both of their hand's, and yanked hard.

As the two surfaced, spluttering and soaked through, Sakano smirked at them. "Serves you bitches right!"

He hauled himself out of the pool, and walked over to Bam, pulling out a pair of trademark gloves from the boarder's back pocket. He slipped them on, and sauntered over to the rope. He took a long moment to glare at it, before grabbing it once more. He, once again, began to scale the mansion.

By the time Raab and Ryan had pulled themselves out of the pool, Sakano was stood on the roof, barely restraining himself from laughing triumphantly. Bam clapped his hands. "Good! Now make your way down!"

Sakano braced himself, and began rapidly abseiling down the building. As he zoomed downwards, he laughed maniacally. "WATTAH!" He screamed, sounding like a demented karate movie reject.

The other three stared at him, deeply disturbed, as he landed on the ground, collapsing into an exhausted heap.

Bam grinned at Ryan and Raab. "One day down, one to go!" He gestured to them, and they began dragging Sakano inside.

----

Rin-chan: Thanks for reading! Chapter two will be up next week!

Kei-chan: Hai, domo! Review, onegai! Reviews feed the Role Reversal plot bunny!


	2. Chapter 2

Rin-chan: Sorry we're late with this chapter, everyone!

Kei-chan: It's entirely my fault! I had a really bad virus, and I've only just recovered from it! Anway, onwards to the next chapter!

Disclaimer: We don't own Gravitation! We wish we did, but it just wasn't meant to be...

----

**Chapter Two - How to Turn K Into a Shivering Wreck - Part One**

As K stormed out of the restaurant, Yuki appeared behind him, a tranquilizer gun in hand. With a gleeful cackle, he shot a dart into K's backside. As K felt the dart sink into his skin, he bared his teeth. He quickly reached into his hair, grabbing a suicide pill. Shuichi came out of nowhere, tackling him, and pinning him to the ground.

K caught a glimpse of the evil glint in their eyes, before everything went black.

----

_Some time later_

As K began to regain consciousness, he heard giggling. He frowned, hoping Ryuichi hadn't gotten himself sugar high again. He opened his eyes, to see two strange girls looking at him. The giggling was coming from the one with the hideously bright pink hair. At first, he thought she was Shuichi, but her hair was a more shocking pink. It reminded him of that rockstar… hide.

The other one rolled her eyes, brushing her purple hair out of her eyes. As the other one continued giggling, and began bouncing on her butt, the purple haired one smiled at him.

"Hi! You're wondering who the hell we are, right? Well, don't go reaching for your gun just yet-"

The other one piped up, grinning evilly. "Yeah, don't go _groping_ for your _magnum_!" She snickered.

The other one continued as if she was never interrupted. "-Because Yuki took your guns, just in case you had the urge to shoot us."

The pink thing leaned closer to him. "We have exactly two days to turn you into a snivelling wreck! I think we can manage that… easily."

K blinked, before grabbing his ponytail. He wrapped it around his neck, attempting to strangle himself with his own hair. The pink haired one smacked him around the back of the head, before grabbing his ponytail, and yanking on it.

"NO! No committing suicide, you fool!"

The elder girl rolled her eyes. "ANYWAY… I'm Kakkoii Natsuki. Just call me Suki, it's easier! The pink haired baka yanking you around is-"

"Kakkoii Natsuko desu! But Natsu will do just fine!" Squealed the evil entity attached to his hair. She produced a cat plushie out of nowhere, waving it at him. "This is Koinu-chan! Although, I mostly just call him Inu-chan!"

K freaked out silently, being forcefully reminded of Ryuichi. Just then, the doorbell rang, shattering the awkward silence. Suki went to open the door, and let out a happy yell. She hopped into Ryuichi's arms, wrapping her legs around his waist. This worried K, as she was wearing a short skirt, but Ryuichi didn't seem to notice.

"Suki-chan!" He crushed her in a hug, laughing. Hopping around the room, Suki clinging onto him.

Tohma, Yuki, and Shuichi entered the apartment, Tohma glaring at Suki. Suddenly, a loud squeal reverberated through the room. Shuichi looked around to see Natsu launch herself towards him, soundly glomping him, and sending them both crashing to the floor. Shuichi didn't seem to notice how painfully he landed on his back, instead laughing as Natsu bounced up and down on top of him, giggling. Yuki growled to himself, cracking his knuckles.

Once the four had calmed down, the girls launched themselves at Tohma, who suddenly stopped glaring, and had a terrified look on his face. Natsu squealed in his ear. "Toh-chan!" Suki cackled in his other ear, squeezing his ribs. He cowered in their arms, as Ryuichi and Shuichi snickered to themselves.

Yuki looked between the five of them, confused. Shuichi noticed, and explained. "Yuki, this is Suki-" The purple haired girl waved, before laying her head on Tohma's shoulder, burying her face in his fur collar. "And Natsu-" The pink haired one flashed the "V" for victory sign from her position on her knees, before snuggling her face into Tohma's stomach, her arms wrapped around his waist, but _under_ his shirt. "I know Natsu-chan from school, and Ryuichi knows Suki-chan from school. Suki was his tutor, and Natsu is Suki's sister… make sense?"

Yuki nodded, somewhat dazed. The girls finally took pity on poor Tohma, for now, and let go. Natsu suddenly grinned at Shuichi. "Oi, warumono! You haven't said anything about the new accessory…" She pointed to her lip ring.

Shuichi grinned. "Cool!" He reached out, pulling on the lip ring. He cringed, thoroughly grossed out, as he managed to pull the entire right side of her bottom lip downwards. Natsu snickered at his look.

Suki smiled. "That's a good point! Ryu-love, how do you like my new tattoo?" She turned, pointing to her left shoulder blade, where a Kumagorou tattoo was visible above the top of her corset.

Ryuichi squealed loudly, rushing over for a closer look. He squinted at the tattoo, checking that every detail was correct. Suddenly, he grinned, planting a wet sloppy kiss directly on the tattoo. Tohma looked ready to explode. The blonde's usually calm face was red, and he was clenching his fists. Natsu smirked at him, before she noticed K.

As Shuichi had been carrying out his explanation, K had slowly inched his way over to the window. He was about to throw himself out of it, when Natsu spotted him. Her blue eyes narrowed. With a manic cackle, she launched herself at him, catching him around his waist. They hit the floor with a slam, Natsu sat cross-legged on his chest. She pointed a finger in his face. "If you try to do that again, I'll tie your hair up with pink ribbons, and put you in a dress! And don't think I won't do it, because there's nothing that would amuse me more!"

K nodded slowly as her eyes flashed, _almost_ cowering in the face of such evil. Suki snickered at him, before clapping her hands. "Okay! We have two days for this, so lets get you settled in. Now, there's five of us, but we only have three bedrooms so-"

"No problem!" Natsu giggled. "Mista K can take the guest room, Ryu-baby can sleep in your room, and the warumono can sleep in my room!"

"NO WAY!" Tohma and Yuki both yelled, scowling.

Natsu blinked innocently. "Why not? Me and Shu-bear used to sleep together all the time in high school…"

Yuki cracked his knuckles, taking a step forward. "Listen you little twerp, there is no way in HELL you're going to be sleeping with MY fiancée. Dream on, chibi."

Thunderclouds gathered over Natsu's head as she glared at him. "DON'T CALL ME SMALL, DAMN YOU! I get enough short jokes from that bitch over there!" She raged, pointing at Suki.

Yuki blinked. "…"

Suki cleared her throat. "ANYWAY… we've got to start Mista K's… training, now. In other words, bye bye blondies! Go on, out! Shoo!" She flapped her hands at them.

The two blondes scowled, before dragging their lovers outside with them.

Yuki scowled at Shuichi and Ryuichi. "You do realise that if either of you even _think_ about letting either of them touch you, we'll rip off your balls and fry them… right?"

Tohma nodded grimly. "They have no right touching what belongs to us, so don't you dare let them!"

Shuichi smirked at Tohma. "I belong to you? Well, I can't say I'm surprised that you feel this way - I mean look at me, I'm hot! - but I'm afraid Yuki's the only guy for me!"

Ryuichi nodded happily. "Yep. As cool as you are, you have no right even _thinking_ about my balls, Yuki. I know it's hard not to, but I belong to Tohma… sorry!"

Yuki and Tohma slapped their foreheads. '_Why? Why do you inflict their stupidity on us, Kami-sama?_'

After a few hugs and kisses, the two blondes reluctantly left. Shuichi and Ryuichi bounced back into the apartment, squealing loudly, and discussing the many games they could play. K's left eye twitched repeatedly, his hands inching towards where he usually kept his guns, before remembering that "the two devil-spawn" had taken them away.

Ryuichi clapped his hands happily. "We're gonna watch a movie! Come on, K!"

Ryuichi grabbed K's arm, and hauled him over to the huge couch, sitting him directly in the middle. Suki sat to his left, with Ryuichi plopping down next to her. Natsu sat on K's other side, leaving Shuichi to get the popcorn, tissues, and the DVD. K blinked at the tissues as Shuichi put the DVD into the player, before sitting next to Natsu. He was tempted to ask what the tissues were for, but was stopped by the movie beginning to play.

His eyes widened in silent horror as he saw the title. "Neko no Ongaeshi"

--

A while later, Natsu and Suki were clinging to K, sobbing all over his shirt and muttering about the "Poor Baron", while Shuichi and Ryuichi wailed on each end of the couch. K was shivering by this time, and closed his eyes. Suddenly, he snapped. "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

He leapt off of the couch, sprinting for the window, fully prepared to crash through the damn thing head-first. Two voices thundered around the room.

"KUMAGOROU BEAM!"

"KOINU BEAM!"

Two plushies shot through the air, both beaning the American in the back of his head. He missed the window, instead slamming face first into the wall. After a moment of silence, he peeled his face off of the wall, turning to face the group of four. He was twitching violently, apparently speechless with rage. He suddenly caught sight of something in Natsuko's hands.

She grinned evilly, holding up a pink frilly dress. "Remember what I said, K_eiko-chan_? By the way, don't get the wrong idea, this isn't my dress… I 'borrowed' it from Yoshiki…. In other words, I took it out of her - her? His? Whatever - wardrobe without asking."

K tried to become one with the wall as four grinning demons descended on him.

--

A very short while later, K sat in front of Natsu's dressing table, still twitching. He tugged at the pink frilly dress, annoyed that it only just covered his backside, thankful that they had let him keep his boxers on. He shuddered as he looked around Natsu's room. It was plastered with posters of Shuichi, Ryuichi, and Miyavi. It was disturbing enough having Ryuichi and Shuichi standing in front of you, let alone surrounding you on all four sides!

Natsu advanced on him with a brush, grinning evilly. As she began to brush his hair, still in it's ponytail, they heard a clunk. Everyone paused, blinking at him. Natsu looked at the others, raising an eyebrow. The others nodded, all lunging at K. They each took a section of his hair, grasping it firmly.

They each shook out their section of hair, and watched as object after object fell from his hair, and hit the floor. They kept shaking his hair, until finally the shower of objects ended. They all looked down in surprise at the huge pile of stuff. Lock picks, handcuffs (which Suki immediately picked up, an evil glint in her eyes), a ball of string, a Nittle Grasper CD (which Ryuichi clutched to his chest with a squeal. "He listens to my CD's!"), some pens, a jumbo pack of matches (which Natsu grabbed, an unholy light in her eyes.), his house keys, keys for various cars and motorbikes, and a box of Pocky (which Shuichi immediately opened, shoving the sticks down his throat.).

The group glanced up to K, eyeing him weirdly. Natsu shrugged, before once again beginning to brush his hair. Once it was free of knots, she took it out of his ponytail. She pulled out a pair of curling tongs, cackling like a maniac.

As Natsu got to work on K's hair, Suki, Ryuichi, and Shuichi went downstairs to start making the food, and getting the drinks up together. As they went into the kitchen, Suki noticed that the answering machine had ten messages on it. She shrugged, deciding they could wait, and continued on.

Suki busied herself making Anko Daifuku cakes, Dorayaki, and Dango. She rolled her eyes as she filled a bowl with strawberry Pocky… the things she did for her friends…

As Suki was cooking, Ryuichi snagged Suki's car keys. He waltzed out of the apartment, heading for the nearest convenience store. When he came back some time later, he had a trunk full of Sake and Asahi, and was grinning.

As this was going on, Shuichi was faithfully searching through the sisters' CD's, creating the perfect playlist. Miyavi, Iceman, Antic Café, Bennie K, X Japan, D'espairs Ray, and The Trax. He bounced as he piled more and more CD's, giggling softly.

Everyone froze as K walked down the stairs in a pink frilly dress, his long blonde hair in ringlets, with a small section of curls gathered at the back with a pink ribbon, and his combat boots. There was a long moment of silence, before Suki burst into laughter, unable to help herself. Shuichi snickered helplessly behind his hands, and Ryuichi blew him a kiss, smirking evilly.

K twitched, stomping over to the couch and throwing himself onto it. He fumed quietly for a moment, ignoring Natsu when she bounded down the stairs after him. Suddenly, an idea hit him like a bolt of lightning. He looked up, smirking at the four idiots. "I'll make you a deal… I'll wear this _all_ night, if you guys switch clothes. And I'm not talking about same sex, either! Shuichi and that devil- I mean Natsu can switch, and Ryuichi can switch with the wench- I mean, with Suki."

They looked at each other, and shrugged. Natsu and Suki began taking off their clothes right there, and K shrieked, diving under a couch cushion. Ryuichi and Shuichi blinked for a second, before shaking their heads and undressing.

A short while later, K emerged from inside the couch, and stared, sweatdropping. Ryuichi grinned as he produced some oranges to put inside of Suki's halter-top, which he now proudly wore with her skirt. The boots were a little too small, but since he had small feet anyway, it wasn't much of a problem.

Shuichi stood in Natsu's black combat trousers, and her black top that had so many slashes in it, you could see the oranges that Shuichi had also shoved down his top. He looked vaguely smug at not having to wear a skirt… again.

Suki smoothed out Ryuichi's blue jeans, and snickered at how his white t-shirt (complete with giant panda graphic) stretched across her breasts. She reached up to adjust Ryuichi's green cap, and had to make a grab for the jeans as they attempted to slide to the floor.

Natsu bounced up and down in Shuichi's pink combats and pale yellow t-shirt. She tied her hair up in a ponytail, before fitting Shuichi's pink cap on top of her head. She snickered, imitating Shuichi's usual stance.

Shuichi sauntered over to the stereo system, beginning to play his beloved playlist. As soon as the music began, they all raced for the alcohol.

--

A short while later, K sat on the couch once again, biting his nails and twitching. Every now and then, he'd let out a drunken giggle, sounding like the girl he was dressed up as. Shuichi and Ryuichi had sneaked into the sisters' kitchen, and attempted to find (and steal) all of Natsu's ramen, and all of Suki's Pocky.

Suki was stood looking out of the window, smoking a cigarette. She was still dressed in all of Ryuichi's clothes, but had (somehow) gathered all of her hair up under his cap.

Natsu was in the middle of the room, dancing like a maniac as "Mr. D" pumped out of the speakers. She was also still completely dressed in Shuichi's stuff.

Suddenly, the door slammed open. Yuki and Tohma stormed in, faces like thunder. Tohma's eyes blazed angrily as he noticed smoke, and he stomped over to the figure by the window. "Sakuma, how dare you! I've told you before, you aren't allowed to smoke because you'll damage your voice! I can't believe you would hurt my feelings by doing something I've begged you not to do!"

The figure turned, and Tohma froze. Suki rolled her eyes. "Don't start snivelling like a little girl, Toh-chan! That's what K's for, he's been doing it all night!!"

As this was going on, Yuki made his way over to the dancing (short) figure. He wrapped his arms around the figure, clamping them tightly around the figure's shoulders. He frowned as he felt two soft mounds press against his arms. "When the hell did you grow boobs, brat? Let me guess, you stuck something down your top again?"

Natsu removed herself from his arms, scowling at him. "Nuuu! I was born with 'em!"

Yuki had a quiet heart attack, vowing to scrub his arms when he got home. The group heard some thumps coming from the kitchen, and walked in to find Shuichi and Ryuichi eating all of Natsu's ramen, and all of Suki's Pocky. The sisters' eyes narrowed.

Meanwhile, as crashes and swears came from the kitchen, K trembled from where he still sat on the couch, hoping that he'd stay forgotten until this whole thing was over. Alas, fate had other plans!

--

A short while later, they all sat in a circle, drinking the vast supply of alcohol. Tohma and Yuki still had thunderous scowls on their faces, keeping Shuichi and Ryuichi glued to their sides. K sat boredly, twirling his blonde hair around one finger as he demolished their stash of beer.

An ominous aura began emanating from Shuichi and Natsu, and they grinned evilly at each other. Natsu began cackling insanely, as Shuichi narrowed his eyes at everyone, a demonic smile on his face.

"We're playing 'I've Never' now! No arguing, and no backing out! And you all have to tell the truth, or I'll let Natsu loose on your asses!"

And so, they all sat with their glasses in hand, lots of bottles lined up. Natsu grinned at them. "I'll go first! I've never… slept with a woman!"

Yuki, Tohma, K, Ryuichi, and Shuichi all took a drink. Shuichi gave Yuki a dirty glare, turning his face away. Suki half-raised her glass, before pausing. She frowned, looking over at Shuichi and Ryuichi. "Um… how would you class… 'it'?" She asked.

Ryuichi shrugged. "Hmm… just take half of a mouthful, instead of a whole one!" Shuichi snickered, and Suki saluted with her glass.

Yuki rolled his eyes, thinking for a moment. "I've never… had sex in a toilet stall."

Shuichi, Ryuichi, Suki, Natsu, Tohma, and K all drank. Yuki blinked, before glaring at Shuichi. "And when the hell was this, you brat?"

Shuichi scratched his head sheepishly. "Well… It was when I was 16, actually…"

Natsu giggled, and Yuki's glare moved to her. "You know something, you shrew… spill it!"

She smiled. "Well… we were drunk! It just kind of… happened!"

Yuki turned red with rage. "You slept with _my_ Shu-chan?!"

She shrugged. "Hey, I got to him before you did, tight-ass! Besides, what about Tohma and Ryu-baby? I suppose you two went at it in the bathroom at NG, right?"

Tohma shook his head slowly, not looking at Ryuichi. "No… actually, it was with Noriko. But it was a long time ago, and it was only the one time!"

Ryuichi stared at him for a second, before looking away. "Mine was with Suki-chan."

Natsu's eyes widened, before she turned to look at her sister. "WHAT?! Why didn't you tell me, you bitch?! Geez, it's not like I would have told anyone!"

Suki shrugged, smiling sheepishly. Shuichi cleared his throat. "My turn. I've never… cheated on my lover." He glared at Yuki.

Yuki clenched his fist, and took a drink. He noticed that he was the only one, and scowled. Shuichi's eyes glazed over with tears, and he stood, swaying. He could never hold his alcohol well. He moved away from Yuki, and ended up falling straight into K's lap.

K blinked down at him for a moment, before promptly turning into a mother hen. He hugged Shuichi, stroking his hair as he sniffled. He glared at Yuki, muttering to himself ominously. "Bastard… where's a tank when you need it? How could he…"

K grumbled for a moment longer, before looking around at the others. "I'll go next. I've never… taken it up the ass."

Shuichi, Ryuichi, Tohma, and Yuki all took a drink, while Natsu and Suki giggled at them. Suddenly, the front door crashed open. "Hooooooney, I'm hooooome!"

Kitazawa Yoshiki grinned, waving happily at Suki. Everyone stared for a moment. K, being very tipsy, frowned. "Hey, where did your boobs go?"

Yoshiki laughed. "I had them… removed! Becoming a woman is too much trouble, and I don't think my wife would be happy married to a woman!" Suki cooed at him happily, throwing her arms around him tightly.

Everyone stared at the couple, surprised. Suddenly, a squeal filled the air. "Natsu-oba-chan!" Riku shot across the room like a rocket, throwing himself into Natsu's arms.

She grinned happily, hugging him tightly. "Riku-chan! I missed you, you little squirt!"

Yuki twitched. '_So Yoshiki's married to one of the demons from hell, and Riku calls the other one his aunt… somebody shoot me._'

Ryuichi and Shuichi giggled happily, sitting close to Natsu and cooing over Riku. Tohma nervously scooted away from Yuki as the author began twitching violently. Yuki glared over at Shuichi. "Why the hell didn't you tell me about this?"

Shuichi snorted, scowling at him. "Because it's none of your damn business, you cheating scumbag!" He staggered to his feet, swaying dangerously. He slipped off his ring, throwing it directly at Yuki's forehead. It bounced off, rolling towards Tohma, who grabbed it with a shocked look on his face. "I don't wanna marry you anymore, you… you…" He paused, frowning in deep concentration. "What was I saying? OH YEAH! You cheating scumbag!"

Suddenly, Shuichi began toppling to the floor. Yuki's arms shot out, catching him before his head smacked into the ground. He scowled… again. "You never can hold your booze." He grabbed the ring out of Tohma's hand, and slipped it back onto Shuichi's finger. "You're not getting out of it now, you damn brat! I've worked long and hard to let you know how I feel, without actually saying anything, or being loving in any way, and you're not going to mess it up!"

K sat staring at the group, twitching, and whimpering quietly. He noticed that Yoshiki had left the front door open, and something within him snapped. He jumped up, sprinting out of the door, and down the hall. One of the doors opened, and an old man walked out, conveniently blocking K's path. He scowled, before grabbing the hem of his dress, and pulling the skirt up, flashing the pervy old bastard, who eyes popped out of his head, blood erupting from his nose, sending him shooting back into his apartment, the door slamming shut behind him.

K turned around, seeing that everyone had come out of Suki and Natsu's apartment, and flashed them, too. "WOOHOO!"

He turned sharply, beginning to sprint away, and smacked straight into a wall. His eyes crossed, and he swayed. '_Shit…_' He fell to the floor, out cold.

Ryuichi blinked at him, poking him with a foot. "One day down, one to go…"

----

Rin-chan: Thanks for reading, please review!

Kei-chan: Kuma-chan and Inu-chan are fed by your reviews! Feed them so they don't slobber on me, please!


	3. Chapter 3

Kei-chan: OH MY GOD... we're baaaaaack!

Rin-chan: We're really sorry for the huge wait, but we have a good excuse! I'm a lazy bitch, and my sister's been working.

Kei-chan: Yeah... anyways, hopefully this will make up for it! Read on, and enjoy!

* * *

**Chapter Three - How to Turn Sakano Psycho in Two Days - Part Two**

Sakano woke with a jolt, coughing and spluttering. He leapt out of bed when he realised that he'd just had ice water, complete with ice cubes, dumped over him. As his feet hit the floor, he had a nasty shock.

**SMACK**

Bam proceeded to repeatedly smack him in the face with an entire trout. Sakano, shocked, just stood there and took it for a long moment… before an evil glint came into his eyes. He ripped the fish out of Bam's grip, and thwacked him over the head with it, hard. He began cackling as he brandished the fish at the guys, smacking them all periodically.

He paused for a second, laughing maniacally, before- "WATTAH!" He launched himself at Bam.

_Ten minutes later_

They all walked out of the bedroom, reeking of trout, and covered in fish guts. The guys glared at Sakano, who simply bared his teeth at them, before stomping off to shower.

Once they no longer smelled of fish, they dressed and left the mansion. As they left the mansion, they found a TV camera shoved in their faces. They blinked dumbly for a moment.

Ryan laughed. "I guess he's here already. This is a little surprise from me to you!"

Suddenly, a voice cut through everything. "Hey man, I'm here to pimp your ride!" They looked over to see a man approaching them. "I'm Xzibit, and you're about to be pimped!"

Suddenly, he stopped, staring at the only car in sight. "Although, I don't know why you called me… this don't need pimpin', it's already there!"

Ryan shook his head. "Well, I think this guy here would like a little payback on a certain someone." He said, patting Sakano on the back.

Xzibit raised his eyebrows, looking at Sakano, who had started smirking evilly. "Actually, I would. Turn it into a first class pimp-mobile!"

And so, Sakano was left stood with a demonic glint in his eyes, watching as Xzibit drove away in Tohma's precious Bentley Continental.

Bam blinked rapidly for a few moments, before shrugging. "Anyways… let's get going!"

A few moments later, a yell rang through the air.

"_**WATTAH!!!**_"

Sakano thundered around the makeshift race course in Tohma's Aston Martin, cackling and yelling. Ryan and Raab stared, dumbstruck. Bam, who was unlucky enough to be in the car with him, was hanging out of the window, screaming and crying for his mother. "MOMMY!"

When the car disappeared into Tohma's underground garage, Bam emerged, comical tears streaming down his face. "I'm never getting into a car with him ever again…he's worse than Don Vito and Phil when someone's stolen their twinkies!"

Suddenly, Sakano came roaring back onto the track, driving a black Hummer. Bam had calmed down by this time, and watched in amusement as Sakano ripped the Hummer to shreds. Raab blinked for a moment. "Heh, Hummers aren't meant to be tortured like that…"

--

_Later that evening_

The four stood in Tohma's bedroom, evil grins on their faces, and paintbrushes in their hands. On the floor, there were numerous tins of paint. Without wasting a second, they dipped their paintbrushes into a tin of baby pink paint. Within minutes, they had painted an entire wall. They stepped back, and took a good long look. Finally deciding it was a suitable colour, they kicked it into high gear.

They painted as fast as they could, cackling insanely at the same time. Soon enough, Tohma's bedroom, and everything in it… including the bed, was baby pink. They had even painted the glass in the windows.

They went through every room this way, upstairs and downstairs, until Tohma's entire mansion was painted baby pink. Including every window, the floors, and every object. They even took the time to paint the toilet bowls! After they had done this, it still wasn't that late. So, deciding they had better things to do than sleep just yet, they set about painting the _outside_ of Tohma's mansion. Sakano and Bam were on huge ladders, painting the second level, while Raab and Ryan took care of the ground floor. They decided to make Sakano scale the house once again, and he painted the roof tiles.

Their job done, they pitched some tents in the back yard, and broke out the alcohol. As the other three kept drinking, and drinking, and drinking, and drinking, Sakano watched them quietly, biding his time.

Some time later, when the three tormentors had passed out, Sakano smirked to himself. He whipped out another paintbrush, and the remainder of the pink paint. Without pausing, or feeling guilty in the slightest, he set about painting each unconscious body. He covered them in paint, feeling completely vindictive. He made sure to paint all of their skin he could see, their clothes, their hair, and even their facial hair.

Once that was done, he calmly settled down into his sleeping bag, and drifted off… of course, he first made sure to leave the tent flap open, hoping the paint fumes would be gone by morning.

--

Sakano was the first to awaken the next morning, putting in his contact lenses with a smirk. He exited the tent, only to find that Xzibit had brought Tohma's car back. And it now looked like a super-pimp mobile. It was bright purple, and had "P.I.M.P." Written on the sides, in big gold letters. Underneath that, in smaller writing, it said "Pretty. Intelligent. Midget. Prince."

Instead of a Bentley badge, it had a badge of a pimp hat, exactly like the one Tohma wears. Inside, the seats were purple velvet, with black feathers lining everything. It had a pair of furry, purple dice hanging from the rear view mirror, and the steering wheel was also covered in feathers. There was a pair of handcuffs attached to the handle above the passenger door, and a brand new pimp hat placed on the driver's seat.

Sakano took one look at it, and began cackling like a deranged chipmunk. His loud laughter had brought his three tormentors out of their blissful sleep, and they shrieked as they noticed their new paint jobs. They stormed out of the tent, intending to smash Sakano into a thousand pieces, when they saw him casually twirling a gun around in his hand.

This was, of course, the moment Tohma decided to show up. He stepped out of his limo, smiling, until he caught sight of his house. Yuki, Shuichi, and Ryuichi also got out of the limo, and saw the mansion. Shuichi squealed happily. "I wanna live here!" Ryuichi stared at it, amused. "It's the same colour as you, Kumagorou!" And Yuki promptly pointed and laughed his ass off.

Tohma sprinted into his home, crashing through the door. Everyone outside could hear him yelling. "IT'S BLOODY PINK EVERYWHERE! EVEN THE FOOD IS PINK!"

Sakano cackled, and they all looked over at him. They blinked as he, once again, began dancing like a demented upright crab. He stopped suddenly, twirling his gun again. Suddenly, Ryuichi screamed. "THE WALLS HAVE EYES!" He jumped behind Shuichi, cowering.

Shuichi raised an eyebrow, looking over at Tohma's mansion. "OH MY GOD, THEY DO!" He promptly hid behind Yuki, who rolled his eyes as the two overgrown toddlers bawled their eyes out.

Ryan, Raab, and Bam all stepped forward from where they had been leaning against the house, completely camouflaged. They were scowling, and glaring at Sakano. Eventually, Tohma calmed down somewhat, and re-appeared outside. Then, he saw his car. Everyone winced, expecting an explosion, but instead heard a squeal of delight. "I LOVE IT!" Tohma bounced up and down, clapping his hands happily. "It's the coolest car ever! AND IT HAS FEATHERS!" His inner-Ryuichi was back full force, and they smiled indulgently at the hyperactive evil genius.

Eventually, once the goodbyes had been said, Yuki, Shuichi, and Sakano all piled into the limo. There had been a moment of trouble when Shuichi had banged on the driver's window, screeching. "LET ME DRIIIIIIVE!" Yuki twitched, before grabbing him by the scruff of his neck, and throwing him into the back seat.

Tohma and Ryuichi got into Tohma's new pimp mobile, Ryuichi snickering as he saw the interior. Tohma, with his new pimp hat firmly on his head, started the engine, and let loose an evil laugh. As the engine kicked into life, the sound system began cranking out music.

'_We doin' big pimpin', we spending' G's_

_Check 'em out now,_

_Big pimpin', on B.L.A.D.'s_

_We doin' big pimpin up in N.Y.C.-_'

Tohma smirked, roaring away from his pink mansion. The limo pulled away too, leaving the trio of Americans starting blankly at each other. Bam scowled. "Shit! We still need a ride to the damn airport!"

--

The next day, Sakano casually strolled towards Bad Luck's studio. As he approached the door, he casually produced two guns, holding them ready. His foot slammed against the door, making it crash open to reveal bad luck and K. "WATTAH!"

* * *

Kei-chan: And that's how it is!

Rin-chan: Thanks for reading, and please review! We'll try not to make you wait too long for the next chapter.

Kei-chan: As a side note, please leave a review and let us know what you think of Suki and Natsuko... we have a possible idea involving them, and we want to know what you guys think of them before we commit ourselves to anything. Let us know, and thanks for reading!


End file.
